Friday, January 10, 2014

Leading Questions - Yes Prime Minister




Bernard Woolley: He's going to say something new and radical in the broadcast.

Sir Humphrey: What, that silly Grand Design? Bernard, that was precisely what you had to avoid! How did this come about, I shall need a very good explanation.

Bernard Woolley: Well, he's very keen on it.

Sir Humphrey: What's that got to do with it? Things don't happen just because Prime Ministers are very keen on them! Neville Chamberlain was very keen on peace.

Bernard Woolley: He thinks ... he thinks it’s a vote winner.

Sir Humphrey: Ah, that’s more serious. Sit down. What makes him think that?

Bernard Woolley: Well the party have had an opinion poll done and it seems all the voters are in favour of bringing back National Service.

Sir Humphrey: Well have another opinion poll done to show that they’re against bringing back National Service.

Bernard Woolley: They can’t be for and against

Sir Humphrey: Oh, of course they can Bernard! Have you ever been surveyed?

Bernard Woolley: Yes, well not me actually, my house … Oh I see what you mean

Sir Humphrey: You know what happens: nice young lady comes up to you. Obviously you want to create a good impression, you don’t want to look a fool, do you?

Bernard Woolley: No

Sir Humphrey: So she starts asking you some questions: Mr. Woolley, are you worried about the number of young people without jobs?

Bernard Woolley: Yes

Sir Humphrey Appleby: Are you worried about the rise in crime among teenagers?

Bernard Woolley: Yes.

Sir Humphrey Appleby: Do you think there is lack of discipline in our Comprehensive Schools?

Bernard Woolley: Yes.

Sir Humphrey Appleby: Do you think young people welcome some authority and leadership in their lives?

Bernard Woolley: Yes.

Sir Humphrey Appleby: Do you think they respond to a challenge?

Bernard Woolley: Yes.

Sir Humphrey Appleby: Would you be in favour of reintroducing National Service?

Bernard Woolley: Oh, well I suppose I might.

Sir Humphrey Appleby: Yes or no?

Bernard Woolley: Yes.

Sir Humphrey: Of course you would, Bernard. After all you told you can’t say no to that. So they don’t mention the first five questions and they publish the last one.
Bernard Woolley: Is that really what they do?
Sir Humphrey: Well, not the reputable ones, no, but there aren’t many of those. So alternatively the young lady can get the opposite result.
Bernard Woolley: How?

Sir Humphrey Appleby: Mr. Woolley, are you worried about the danger of war?

Bernard Woolley: Yes.

Sir Humphrey Appleby: Are you worried about the growth of armaments?

Bernard Woolley: Yes.

Sir Humphrey Appleby: Do you think there's a danger in giving young people guns and teaching them how to kill?

Bernard Woolley: Yes.

Sir Humphrey Appleby: Do you think it's wrong to force people to take arms against their will?

Bernard Woolley: Yes.

Sir Humphrey Appleby: Would you oppose the reintroduction of National Service?

Bernard Woolley: Yes.

Sir Humphrey Appleby: There you are, you see, Bernard. The perfect balanced sample.

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